Saturday, July 13, 2013

Just to talk

Sometimes I sit down to blog something and I swear to baby Jesus that nothing comes out.  Wait, I lie, things come out but then I erase it all and try and write what I think people will want to read.  I spend so much time writing, erasing and rewriting then nothing ever gets posted.  That wasted time is so annoying to me especially since I don't have any readers, or any that I know of! So I spend all this time worrying about what people will think of me, or my kids, or my husband when no one reads this damn thing.  That being said I think I will just start writing what feels good and honest because I think this could be a good way for me to look back at my life 10 years from now and hopefully say "damn you had a good life" and not "who the hell were you trying to fool?"

Moving on! I wanted to write a little about the boys and how amazingly different the 2 of them are turning out to be, I say this knowing full well that Jacks is only 7 weeks old and he will continue to change and probably prove me wrong over and over again.  Anyway when I first got pregnant with Jacks I was shocked at how different things felt.  I suddenly had morning sickness and was cursing myself for assuming that both of my pregnancies would be so easy going and fun.  After the initial curse of nausea wore off around 17 weeks the rest of the pregnancy was pretty nice, I didn't gain 300 lbs or get swelling or any of the other fun pregnancy stuff I just expected since I didn't have it with Nathaniel.  So my pregnancies were different, chalk that one up to chasing a 2 year old around while incubating another human.  I should've assumed that since things up to the end of pregnancy weren't the same that labor would be no different but like a silly school girl I again just assumed (what is that saying about assuming things again?) that my labors would be the same.  I got incredibly lucky with Nathaniel and was only in painful labor for less than 5 hours before he was born so why wouldn't my second labor but even easier, I mean don't they say the second time is faster?  Yeah well WRONG.  I was in labor for a full 24 hours with Jackson but luckily the crazy painful part wasn't that long thanks in part to the best epidural ever! So pregnancy and labor aside, I have 2 sons- boys are all the same right? BAH wrong again.  Nathaniel was one of the neediest babies ever although it wasn't entirely his fault.  I totally held him all day and night just looking at him and cooing at his every moment.  Hell you only get one baby once and you probably never get the chance to just fawn over a baby as much as you do with your first so I soaked up every minute of it.  Turns out that while I was right that I probably won't get to fawn over Jackson quite as much as I did Nathaniel it also created a little monster that wanted all of my attention all day and night.  So I created a not sleeping unless he was held, cute as a button monster.  Luckily I don't have all day to sit and gawk at Jackson, but don't get me wrong there is still a fair amount of gawking happening, I mean seriously who doesn't want to just cuddle a new baby?? Jackson just seems like a much more laidback baby, he's perfectly content to not be held all day.  He even likes the very expensive swing that I think we used a total of 10 minutes with Nathaniel.  He sleeps great at night has me spoiled with more sleep than I got in 6 months with Nathaniel. I probably just cursed myself by writing that out loud but the point of all this is that my boys are different.  One dark haired with blue eyes (Jackson) and one blonde with brown eyes (Nathaniel, duh), but for as different as they are they are similar.  Both are porkers who love to eat- hello 13 lb baby who has gained 5 lbs!! in 7 weeks haha, they both wrinkle their foreheads the same way and more importantly they are both my sweet babies. 
Trying to get a picture of my 2 boys on July 4th.

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